


If I forgive your sins, will you forgive mine?

by ChangingbacktoBellamort500



Category: The Boys (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:33:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26451172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangingbacktoBellamort500/pseuds/ChangingbacktoBellamort500
Summary: AU Becca Butcher disappears leaving 2 year old Ryan alone. When Madelyn is forced to look after him and Homelander now aware he has a son, their relationship is put to the test in a way it never has been before.
Relationships: The Homelander | John/Madelyn Stillwell
Kudos: 18





	If I forgive your sins, will you forgive mine?

When Madelyn woke up her whole day had been planned out in her head. Sure in her job there were always moments you couldn't predict, couldn't prepare for and you had to ride it out. But out of all those unpredictable moments, she could have never imagined in any scenario two-year-old Ryan Butcher being in her office, asleep on her lap.

But he was. Two days ago, there was a storm; the power went out where Vought was keeping Becca. When it came back on Becca was gone, Ryan was alone. That's all they were telling her. Doctor Parker had recommended that she look after the boy. He knew her from her visits; she knew all there was about Homelander. Madelyn in, his eyes, was the best choice to cause Ryan the least distress. 

Mr Edgar agreed; what she wanted was irrelevant after that. He also decided now was the time to tell Homelander of Ryan's existence. Madelyn had breathed a sigh of relief when he said he would inform Homelander. She didn't want to have to deal with anger; she didn't want to have to deal with his hurt.

Madelyn knew that sooner or later, she would have to deal with all of that. He would be angry with her worse he would be hurt by her. But right now, the sleeping child on her lap had to be her main focus. His whole world was gone, upside down and there was no way to explain any of it to him. She had tried, but he was two years old, all he wanted was his mom. 

* * *

She pretends that is she asleep when Homelander at two o'clock in the morning, enters her bedroom. But Madelyn can sense from him, as he stands brooding at the foot of the bed, that he is conflicted. He can't decide whether he wants to fuck her, kill her, suckle' at her breast for comfort or all three. She dreads to think in what order.

Madelyn knows her heart is beating fast, if she can hear it then so can he. He must know she is awake, lying there waiting for him to make up his mind.

"Where is Ryan?" He asks after a while. She doesn't open her eyes, but she can tell he has his arms folded across his chest. 

"Asleep in the spare room. Doctor Parker got someone to make it the same as his room at home," Madelyn whispers, she tries to make her voice sound casual. If she is doing it for him or herself, she doesn't know. "He took a while to settle; I think he misses his mom,".

She hears his footsteps across, the sound of the light switching on. "Will you open your eyes?" He asks it, but it's more of a demand. "I want to see your eyes when you explain to me why you kept my fucking son from me,".

Madelyn opens her eyes and lets them adjust to the light before sitting up. He looks half-crazed; at his most dangerous when he is like this. She could lie; Madelyn had thought up a dozen this afternoon, all that would appease him, but decides on the truth. Not because he deserved it, but more because if he did kill her, she wanted to know the truth not, some comforting bullshit lie.

"Vogelbaum was shocked Becca was pregnant with your child, but I wasn't. He never asked me why. See I knew it was possible because while you were in a hotel room getting her pregnant, I was miscarrying our baby. You'll remember I tried to phone you that night, the one time I needed you," Madelyn laughs, in a twisted way she enjoys it when his face flinches. 

"But you were with her. Worse I couldn't even hate her for it because you forced yourself on her. She didn't want you near her or her son, Vought didn't want you near him, and I damn sure couldn't at the time cope with watching you being a father to a child that wasn't mine. That's it. That's the reason."

She waits; waits for him to decide whether it's a good enough reason or not, to let her live or not. 

The sound of Ryan crying out for his mother makes them both jump. Madelyn acts on instinct and goes to him, forgetting for a moment that her lover was mentally trying to figure out whether he would kill her or not.

* * *

It took forty minutes to get Ryan back to sleep. Not once had Homelander looked in on them. Madelyn assumed that he had left, flown off somewhere, but when she returned there, he was. Madelyn isn't sure if she kissed him first or he kissed her, it's hard to care or think as she lets him push her onto the bed.

She wants to ask if this means they are okay again, but the truth is Madelyn knows they aren't and it will take a long time for that. But wasn't this a start? 

Him tearing at her clothes, removing his pants in a frenzy, the whisper in her ear "Touch yourself,". She does. Not enough to get herself off, but enough to bring herself to the edge, aroused and ready for him to enter her. 

The way he looks at her like she is everything to him makes her want to cry; she can't explain why. 

Homelander isn't gentle; usually, she would scold him for it. But not now. Madelyn encourages, wrapping her legs around him, she moans "I love you, good boy. My boy,". 

He moves like a man not trying to reach or give pleasure, but like this is the only thing that will save him, save her, save them, perhaps it was. They are a special kind of fuck up, an hour ago Madelyn didn't even know whether he would kill her or not. Now here she was with his dick inside, trying to screw their way to salvation.

When she's close, she sinks her teeth into his shoulder to keep herself from crying out, remembering the child asleep across the hallway.


End file.
